Yin and Yang
by Smelling Margaret
Summary: Howard and Vince could never be together. They are just too different. But you know how the saying goes, "Opposites atrract."
1. Flamingos and Bananas

**A/N: ****Alright, so this is my first fanfic so sorry if it's crap. If you like it, review. If you don't, review. Those are your options. Also, I want to say that my "Y" is being difficult on my keyboard and it's hard to press it so sorry if there are a lot of missing "Ys" as well as "Fs". But please review or I will run you over with a tractor. That's right. Motor vehicle violence. Anyways, Enjoy! ****J**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own The Mighty Boosh. If I did, do you think I would be writing fanfic for it? I don't think so. **

**Yin and Yang**

"Hey Howard, I was thinking, yeah? And I thought that today we should dress up like giant flamingos and skip down the streets singing about bananas. What do ya think?" Vince said, walking into the room and flopping down on the couch next to Howard who was reading a newspaper.

Howard put down his paper and looked at Vince intently. "You really have no brains at all, do you?"

"Oh, come on, Howard. It'll be genius!"

"What exactly would be genius about wearing a pink outfit with a beak and singing about yellow curved fruits?"

Vince rolled his eyes. "You just don't know how to have fun!"

"I beg to differ, sir!" Howard said, offended. "I am the life of the party! When I walk in, the whole room looks my way! Even the music stops!"

"I don't think that's why they're staring at you," Vince said, laughing.

"Whatever. I'm Howard TJ Moon. I don't skip!"

"Come on, Howard! Those outfits cost me a lot of money!"

"Well you're just gonna have to take them back, aren't ya?"

"They're nonrefundable!"

"Well then get some body else to do it with you!"

"Come on, Howard. Please?"

Howard tried his hardest not to look at Vince as he gave his sad puppy-dog look but the baby blues kept calling to him, begging him to look into his eyes. Howard sighed. "Fine," he said.

"Yay!" Vince said, jumping off the couch and taking Howard's hand to pull him off the couch, too.

Howard's heart almost exploded with this physical contact. He automatically pulled his hand away in fear and said, "Don't touch me."

"Alright then come on!" Vince said, expertly hiding his pain from Howard's rejection…again.

**A/N: ****So what did you think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Tell me what you thought with a review and join the revolution to reply to every story you read because everyone knows how awful it feels to get 500 views and only 3 reviews. By the way, there is a lot more fluff to come in later chapters. Maybe even some angst. I haven't decided yet. Review and I will continue to write some more or I will think it is shit and won't continue! J **


	2. Flamingo Love

**A/N:**** Thank you BooshFan2010 for your review! Yay! My first review! Anyways, I want to say not to expect me to be able to update everyday because I go to a really crappy smart school so I usually have homework from 3:30 to 8:00 and then I go take a shower and I take long showers so I get done around 9:00 and that gives me an hour to myself so I might or might not feel up to writing. But please don't kill me! I've got so much to give!**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own The Mighty Boosh currently though I am in the making of a diabolical plan to steal it. Send me a message if you want to join me in the quest.**

**Yin and Yang**

"I look fucking ridiculous," Howard said, walking in from the back room of the Nabootique.

"Oh come on, Howard. Get involved. You look amazing!" Vince said, also coming out from the back room of the tiny secondhand shop. It was true, though. Even when Howard was dressed as a flamingo he looked amazing in Vince's opinion. He never understood why no one liked him.

"I look like a bird-themed prostitute!" Howard said, looking away so that Vince couldn't see him blush.

Vince shook his head. "Just take this, will ya?" he said, handing Howard a megaphone.

"What's this?" Howard asked, grabbing the megaphone cautiously.

"It's a megaphone!" Vince said.

"What are we going to do with a megaphone?"

"We're gonna sing banana songs into them!" Vince said cheerily.

"There is no way that I'm doing that!" Howard said, putting down the megaphone.

"Oh come on, Howard!" Vince said, his smile slowly disintegrating.

"No. No. There is no way."

"Come on!"

"No! There is no way, Vince!"

Just then, the bell jingled announcing the arrival of someone.

Vince and Howard looked up simultaneously to see Naboo and Bollo walk though the door.

"Alright, me and Bollo are back from-What the hell are you two wearing?" Naboo asked, his eyes widening in shock.

"Hey, Naboo me and Howard are fixing to go out singing about bananas. We won't be gone long," Vince said casually as if it were the most normal thing in the world to go out on the streets of Dalston dressed as a flamingo and sing about bananas.

"Alright just as long as you aren't gone too long. You still have to take care of the shop, you know," Naboo said just as casually.

"No worries. We'll be back in no time."

Naboo nodded and started walking up the stairs toward the flat mumbling something that sounded like, "We're super magic men."

Vince stared at Howard lovingly. He looked amazing in the pink feathery outfit. The tail feathers really showed off his arse.

"What are you looking at?" Howard asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable under Vince's gaze.

"Nothing. That's just really an improvement to our usual outfits," Vince said, shaking all of his former thoughts as he headed toward the door.

**A/N****: So what do you think? This chapter was slightly longer with some more lovey stuff in it. As the chapters go on, it'll get more and more lovey, don't you worry but I wanted to start out slow and build it up so there is a little bit more suspense. I'm sorry if you're bored with it. I really have trouble starting off with stuff going fast so please bear with me. Reviews are appreciated. If you review, I will thank you in the author's note in the next chapter. Who doesn't love that? So reviews are nice and you get rewarded, too. **


	3. Peacock Interruptions

**A/N****: Hello cheeky bitches! So guess what? I'm sick so I don't have to go to school tomorrow (Monday, by the way in case I don't get this done tonight)! Yay! That also means that I have some extra time to do the homework that I didn't do on Saturday because I'm a procrastinator! I'll probably have to go to school on Tuesday, though so I'll probably be overloaded with homework and won't be able to do it that night. But three in one day! Aren't I amazing? That is, if you want to consider the first one as today. I really did it at one in the morning right before I went to sleep. Anyways, thanks Mrs Old Gregg for the review! I'm sorry I couldn't put it in the last chapter but I had posted it two minutes before you reviewed but I'm thanking you now! I also want to say that I was reading over my story because I was bored and I wanted to see if it was shit or not and I noticed that at the end I said, "Nothing. That's just really an improvement to our usual outfits." That wasn't what I meant, though. I meant, "Nothing. That's just an improvement to your usual outfits." Vince wouldn't say that his outfits look worse than flamingo suits. Common mistake, people. I hope nobody was too confused. Well, this author's note is getting long so I'll shut up now.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own the Mighty Boosh but could I come up with my own show and call it the Snidely Doosh? **

**Yin and Yang**

"That was amazing!" Vince said, rushing back into the Nabootique with Howard close behind him.

Howard slammed the door of the shop and quickly locked it behind him, trying to regain his breath. "Don't… you ever try… to get me…to do something like that…ever again," he said, hyperventilating.

Vince laughed. "Come on, Howard! That was fun!"

Howard managed to regain his breath and stared menacingly at Vince. "Maybe for you it was fun but people started pelting me!"

"A few pebbles won't hurt you that bad."

"Pebbles? Who said anything about pebbles? They were throwing bowling balls and crowbars at me!"

"Come on, Howard. Let's go change out of these outfits," Vince said, choosing to ignore this last comment.

They walked up the stairs to the flat and went to their rooms to change. Howard was done in the matter of minutes, changing into a corduroy in aggressive nutmeg and shoes in a haunted muffin. Vince, on the other hand, took a while to change into his clothes.

Howard decided to make some tea while he waited for Vince and watch Jurgen Habourmaster's new documentary on whale overcoming his fear of heights.

Somewhere in between all the starfish making fun of Harold the whale and a little girl saying, "Come on Harold, you can do it! You can flyyyy!" , Howard fell asleep.

Vince came out two hours later dressed in a purple feathery coat, grey drainpipes, and a Gary Numan T-shirt.

"Hey Howard?" Vince said, noticing Howard sitting on the couch. Vince got no reply.

"Howard?" Vince said again, getting closer to him.

"How-ard?" Vince said, now standing right in front of him and noticing he was asleep.

Vince smiled to himself and sat on the couch beside Howard with his knees on the cushion and leaned over to him so close that their noses were touching. "Howard?" Vince whispered again.

Howard woke up with a panic as he noticed how close Vince was. He automatically jerked and bumped heads with Vince.

"Ow!" Vince said, leaning backwards and rubbing his forehead. "What the hell was that for?"

"Have you ever heard of an invasion of personal space?" Howard asked.

_Yeah, but I was kind of hoping you didn't mind,_ Vince thought. He didn't say this aloud, though. "I was trying to wake you up, you titbox!"

"And you thought that was the best way to?"

Vince took a moment to calm down. He was tired of arguing with Howard. He didn't like it. "I'm sorry, Howard, okay?" Vince said, refusing to meet Howard's eyes.

Howard smiled gently. "Hey, it's alright little man," he said, touching Vince's hand like he wanted to grab it but then thought better of it.

Vince looked up into Howard's eyes and smiled sadly. He knew what he had to do. It was the perfect moment. They hardly ever had moments like these and it would be weird just to say it out of the blue. Vince took a deep breath. His heart was beating violently in his chest but he tried to ignore it. "Howard, I-"

"Move out of the way you ball bags. _Peacock Dreams _is on." Naboo said, squeezing in between Vince and Howard. Bollo followed shortly behind him and squeezed in between Vince and Naboo.

Vince looked longingly at Howard who was now all the way on the other side of the couch. He really wanted to tell Naboo and Bollo to fuck off and go watch _Peacock Dreams _somewhere else but he knew he'd definitely get some weird looks. Vince sighed and got up from where he was sitting.

"Where are you going?" Howard asked.

"I'm going to Leroy's. His mom's making some quiche tonight."

"Weren't you going to ask me a question?"

Vince knew it was absolutely impossible to tell him now. Naboo and Bollo were right there and it just didn't seem right so he said the first thing that came to his mind, "Oh, yeah, your shoes untied." And with that, he left.

Howard was utterly confused. He felt like Vince was going to say something really important and most of all, he was wearing zip-up hiking boots.

**A/N****: So what did you think? I'm not going to continue the story until I get at least one more review. So if you're one of those people that don't feel up to reviewing even if they're really good stories because you just got home for work or something and you're too tired, WELL TOUGH SHIT! WE ALL HAVE ISSUES! I WAS IN 'NAM FOR CHRIST SAKE! I love to use quotes at random times. It freaks people out. Anyways, review…please.**


	4. Thoughts From Howard

**A/N: ****I am soooo sorry I haven't written in forever. I could go on about how my computer crashed and that I go to a crap school that makes me have a lot of homework EVERY SINGLE STINKING NIGHT but the real reason is that I've just been lazy and hadn't had any real motivation to do it but it's Thanksgiving weekend, I'm bored, and I'm avoiding my homework even though it's Saturday afternoon and I haven't done any of it even though I've been out since Tuesday. I wrote a great song called "Raven Heart" last night, though. Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed or read my story or put it as their favorites or story alerts and sorry I'm so late. **

**Disclaimer:** **I was talking to Noel on the phone today and I asked him if I could take the Mighty Boosh off their hands. He laughed and said, "I don't think so." I'll try again tomorrow.**

Yin and Yang

Vince walked down the street toward Mrs. Leroy's Mother's house. After all these years of knowing Leroy, you think Vince would know his last name but he doesn't. His friends were all shallow just like him, all his friends but Howard. They were just something for the weekend. They were puppets of his that he brought out when he needed an excuse to get away from Howard, away from the pain he caused in his heart.

Vince was so caught up in his thoughts about the jazzy maverick and his eyes the color of melted milk chocolate that he nearly missed it when he came by the house owned by Leroy's mother. Vince walked up to the red painted door and rang the doorbell.

The door opened to reveal a woman with red, wavy hair held up in a bun and a thin fringe with an apron on and a warm smile.

"Ah, hello Vince. What a pleasant surprise," Leroy's mother said. "Well, don't just stand there in the cold. Please, come in." She moved aside to let Vince in, holding the door open for him.

"Vince! Hey, what are you doing here?" Leroy asked from where he laid, sprawled across the couch, his feet dangling off the side of the armrest and watching the telly.

"Well, I hate to intrude but I was wondering if I could eat supper here?" Vince asked.

"Of course. I'll set another plate," Leroy's mother said from in the kitchen.

"So what are we having?" Vince asked. He knew he told Howard that Leroy was having quiche but he really had no idea and just arrived uninvited. He needed to get away. He felt embarrassed and hated it. Howard…

_I wonder what Howard's doing right now,_ Vince thought, _Probably not thinking about me._

"Howard. Howard? Howard! Hey, small eyes!" Naboo said, waving his hand back and forth across Howard's face.

"Hmm? What? Oh, sorry Naboo," Howard said, snapping out of his thoughts.

"What were you thinking about?" Naboo asked.

_Vince_, Howard thought. Of course, he couldn't tell Naboo this. Naboo would go and tell Vince. Shamans are the most gossipy people in the world. 'Oh, that unicorn's having an affair with a Mexican peanut,' and 'Oh, Dennis had a gram of speed and now thinks he's on Jupiter.'

_ I wonder what Vince was __**actually**__ going to ask me. He probably just forgot and that was the first thing that came to his mind. Whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't important. I mean, what could he have asked me that was important? 'Oh, what should I wear to go shopping at Topshop?' 'Oh, what girl should I go out with now?' 'Oh, will you go out with me please?' _ Howard's eyes widened at his own inner thoughts. _Vince wouldn't ask something like that, would he? What? No. Of course not. He's interested in those Camden dolly-birds, not old corduroy-wearing Howard. It's just my inner thoughts going on a road trip to Happy Island. 'But, of course, you'd never know until you tried…' What? Where'd that come from? 'Well you wouldn't…' No, no, no, no, no. I am not doing that. It'd be like on the roof all over again. That's the only reason I turned to that pencil case girl was because I didn't want to have to deal with that awkwardness for the rest of my life with Vince. I couldn't afford that. But when he got jealous, man did I want to turn back and say no to that pencil case girl but I just couldn't ruin that friendship that me and Vince shared. That's when I realized that Vince and I should just remain friends because if things didn't work out, there would be that awkwardness for the rest of our lives together. 'But you two could be happy together for the rest of both of your lives.' Well maybe but…No, no, no. It just isn't worth it. 'Isn't love always worth the risk?'_

Bollo slapped Howard across the face.

"Ah! What was that for?" Howard asked.

"Howard no listen to Naboo," Bollo said.

"I gotta go," Howard said, quickly getting up and going towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Naboo asked.

"Jazzercise."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Haven't you ever heard of midnight jazzercise?" Howard asked as he put on his coat (a robust fawn) and scuttling down the stairs at a hurried pace.

"Bollo got a bad feeling about this."

"Spaghetti, darling," Leroy's mum said, pulling Vince from his thoughts.

"I love spaghetti!" Vince said enthusiastically.

"Well good. It'll be out shortly. Why don't you grab yourself a seat over there in the living room while it's finishing up?"

"Okay, sure," Vince said, grabbing a seat by the couch.

"So what's up this time?" Leroy asked, sitting up from his spot on the couch.

"What do you mean?" Vince asked, thoroughly confused.

"Aw, come on. You know you only come over here whenever something's happening between you and Howard."

_Am I really that obvious? _Vince thought.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Vince said.

"Yes you do. You and Howard are like a couple. You bicker, and then you end up over here. It's pretty obvious, Vince."

"I…"

"You two might as well go out. I mean-"

"I've gotta go, actually. It's been great, though. Bye, Mrs. L!" Vince called, getting up off his seat. He thought he might as well call her 'Mrs. L' for 'Leroy'.

"What? Are you leaving already?" Leroy's mum called, poking her head from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I've gotta talk to Howard about something."

**A/N:**** One more chapter to go! Yay! Aren't you happy? I'll try to be faster about the next chapter. I hope the length of this chapter has made up for the long wait. Anyways, review please and as the Hindu monks say in the Valley of the Hindu Kush, "Peace!" **


	5. The End But Only The Beginning

**A/N: ****I'm back with the final chapter of my story. Then, my friends, I shall write other stories (hopefully not as shitty as his one.) But, hey, this was my first fanfic so I guess I shouldn't be too angry with myself. I plan on the next one being more interesting and beautiful and full of description but there's no guarantee on that. Anyways, thanks to all those who've read and review and even those who haven't but love the Mighty Boosh. I thank all Boosh fans in general for being awesome and y'all continue with y'all's awesomeness. By the way, do you know how hard it is for me not to say "y'all" in this fanfic? Just saying. ;)**

**Disclaimer:**** So I asked Noel again if I could own it and he said, "How'd you get this number?" I answered, "Uh…Internet?" "Figures." So, no I don't own it but I do have Noel's phone number if anyone wants it. **

Yin and Yang

Howard raced down the street pushing people out of the way as he headed to his intended destination. It seemed silly for him to race to get there. It wasn't like he was in any hurry but he felt that if he didn't do it soon, he'd change his mind.

You know, it's funny how the smallest voice in your head can overpower the largest at times. It's like, 'Oh, I never thought of it that way.' Now Howard's there, racing through the streets, pushing the elderly out of the way to see a man who he'd seen all his life to tell him something that he had kept since that night on he roof, the second time he'd told Vince he loved him and was laughed at, breaking his heart. He knew it was ridiculous but he decided to go with his gut feeling for once in his life.

Vince raced down the street back toward the flat. It wasn't the best situation for him to be in considering the fact he was wearing heels. He nearly twisted his ankle twice and he knew for sure his hair was getting messed up but that was the thing furthest from his mind at the moment.

It was ridiculous if you thought about it. Here he was, racing down the street because of something that _Leroy _said. You don't listen to Leroy. He was high most of the times and didn't know what was going on but something just clicked for Vince. I mean, maybe him and Howard _were_ meant to be together. I mean, everyone already thought they were a couple. Well, Leroy did so that really shouldn't say anything but if Leroy's said it to him, he more than likely said it to a million other people. That's the thing with rumors. If people think they're true anyways, they might as well be.

"Fuck!" Vince said as he hit full force into someone.

"Oh, I landed right on my trumpet-shaped key-ring," said a familiar-sounding voice.

_Howard_, Vince thought.

"Vince, is that you?" Howard asked as if it was impossible to tell.

Vince laughed good-naturedly. "No, Howard, it's not me. It's actually an African antelope in disguise."

"Oh, okay then," Howard said.

Vince laughed. "Of course it's me, Howard." He reached over and pushed Howard's arm playfully. To Vince's surprise, he didn't say, 'Don't touch me, sir!'

Howard took a deep breath. "Vince, there's something I have to tell you."

"Alright then, spit it out," Vince said with a gusto he didn't feel. He knew it had to be something important or else he wouldn't have said 'There's something I have to tell you.' It's never good news when you say that.

_Don't be dying_ _or moving away,_ Vince thought. What actually came out was furthest from his mind.

"Vince I-" Howard started.

"Excuse me," said a girl with black-rimmed glassed and short blonde hair as she tried to make her way past them.

"Sorry," Howard mumbled, moving slightly out of he way. It probably wasn't the best that they were sitting in the middle of busy streets.

"So what were you saying?" Vince asked, messing with his hair like he always does when he's feeling nervous or self-conscious.

"I love you, Vince," Howard said.

"What?" Vince asked in what was meant to sound like a questioning way but ended up as a chocked croaking sound.

"I said I love you, Vince," Howard said, looking everywhere except at Vince.

"Do you mean that, Howard?" Vince asked in a compassionate way.

Howard looked Vince dead in the eye. "Of course I do, Vince."

Vince gave Howard a half smile and leaned in toward him in a slow, uncertain manner.

"I love you, too, Howard," Vince whispered before planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Howard grabbed Vince's back softly and pulled him closer to him, deepening the kiss.

"Oh, get a room," said two girls walking on the sidewalk that looked suspiciously like those electro girls and Goth girls.

Vince broke the kiss, laughing happily.

"Come on, let's go little man," said Howard, helping Vince up off the sidewalk seeing as they were both still sore from the collision. "Naboo's probably going to wonder what happened to us."

"He might wonder where _you_ are but _me _on the other hand…" Vince said, grabbing Howard's hand as they walked back to the flat and towards their futures.

The End

So that's what happened. At least, that's what I think happened. I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.

**A/N:**** To be honest, I didn't like this story but I **_**loved**_** the ending. I hope you liked it to and continue being Boosh fans, my friends. That alone makes me happy. :) **


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